Money, is a sod. I am back on the doors. Within a month of the big quit story, like a dribbling desperate money craving hound. I am back. I am both disgusted and ashamed of myself. Well, it all started with a new door company in my town. I heard about them, and gave them a call, met two head doormen in town, two days later i was working at a very busy local bar. Dirty rough place... sticky floor. Has its regulars, a bit cliquey early on in the night, later on the hordes of actual children (18+) come flying in to swoop up the insanely cheap drink offers.The guys i work with Sadash, Eus, and Weez (girl) all seem cool so far. Eus is the oldest and seems like a typical happy go lucky cockney sort. The sort that should get annoying but is actually entertaining and makes the clock tick a bit quicker. The friday night was busy, pound a drink. Hordes of attractive girls in tight clothes falling over them selves to throw I.D. in our faces.
One pale skinned thing who looked about 14 actually couldn't name the full name on the passport she had borrowed, she didn't even bother to learn it!
"Ok whats the name on here" I asked her, the photo obviously not matching.
She gave me the first and last name, but her tiny head couldn't rotate the cogs to spark her feeble memory to jolt the middle name out of her lips. After many uncomfortable glances and a few awkward exchanges she conceded...
"this isn't your id is it love" I asked her.
She looked up...
"Ok i won't bother then"
No you dippy moo, you will not.
The rest of the night was just a rush, there was no trouble surprisingly. Think we lead out two or so kids, that was it. The venue is like a large open pub. Dancefloor in the far right corner as you enter. The toilets are the worst i have inhaled. Simply atrocious, seriously disgusting. My fear was something kicking off in here, and me having to get thrown into the shallow pool of piss and drink on the floor. Simply puke inducing. Night ended ok though. I was back in it. Back in the mess of it.
Saturday was a lot more messy, even thought tonight wasn't cheap drinks... it was more busy. Christ above only knows why, but it was more busy, more people. We had a few throw outs, one prat on a table dancing, who accepted his defeat so easily when i led him out, i think that was his sole aim for the night, being dragged out by a doorman. Good man, he can "facebook status" that one tommorow. Twerp.
Golf hat boy thought it would be fun to keep putting his hat on after i gave him two polite warnings. He put it on his head for a third time, just to take a picture he told me. Good, thats nice. I swiped the beer off him and led him out. I was polite giving him a second chance, he tried some kind of gesture, i think it was a swing for me. By then Eus was behind me with him and he was out the front door. His dopey looking bunch of rag tag golfing buddies protested something or other, they could go to if they wanted. This polite invitation zipped their traps.
A woman in her late twenties came up to me, thin but pretty looking like Posh Beckham and said
"I'm not trying to cause trouble but that guy over there is pissed and throwing his beer around"
I looked through the bodies and saw a red faced chubby gent with curly ginger hair, clearly intoxicated. I approached him out after waving the team over, just in case we needed to put a few more hands on his girth. He seemed to want to make some kind of issue as i was leading him toward the door. As soon as Eus put his hand on him though, he got violent. His podgy arms swang about like a trapped pigs trotters, but me and Bruce combined are a good weight. The laws of physics tell us it will be difficult for him to restrain. It t'was sir. He threw the door against me on his way out which clouted the side of my head and clipped my hooter. He then screamed at Eus the usual default, I'm so embarrassed i got thrown out the bar obscenities, and it was all over.
However the old boy near the beginning of the night was the best. And a lesson to put in my doormans notebook. I saw Sadash and Eus talking to an old boy with a white tash and hair who must have been in his early sixties, late fifties at least. He was punching the air with a fist and the pint in his other hand was splashing wildly. His face told the stories of many years of alcohol abuse, wives and probably wars. His friend near him was holding a stool right above his head, some kind of play game possibly his son. Stool boy was in his late thirties. I took the stool from him, plonked it down and then approached grandpa.
Eus said to me
"easy, just talk him down"
This was before i even uttered a word. I think Eus saw in my eyes i was quite ready to lead the old boy out. However on my approach the skinny old gent turned toward his empty pint glass. Apologies, but i'm not going to have my face glassed. Erm, if thats ok?
I put a hand on his back to lead him out, and he made it difficult. He wasn't going anywhere. He was shorter and more wiry than me, but he had been thrown out of many a pub in his time. Bruce took one arm, i took the other, but the old codger, LEG LOCKED ME with one leg. This quite effectively inhibited my movement. He basically wrapped his right leg, around my left leg while we were standing. A clever little trick. I kicked out of it, and we led him out with as much respect as is possible when leading out a drunk violent oap.
"I will fucking take you one on one now" He pointed toward me.
It was a sorry sight. This man was the same age as my old man, and out of sheer respect i couldn't fight him. I didn't even swear at him back. He stood at the door, attempting to LOOK like he was running back in for me, but conveniently being stopped by his family. And that was done. He was in there when we arrived at seven, so now he is obviously barred, if he's in next week. It could be interesting getting the old bastard out again. Especially if he bring some scummy family. What a tragic, sorry, and depressing state of affairs it all is.
So, thats it, first weekend back at a new venue done. I proceeded to end the night by getting drunk. Everyone else around me was all night, so why the flip not. In reality i had a few wet beers and went home... :-(
See you next week...
