Entry Number Four: We're Off!...well six weeks off.

Your application has been at this stage since 2007-10-23 (1 working days ago).

Your application form has been checked, and found to be complete. It is now being processed, and for a non-complex application (one without qualification, identification, CRB or criminality issues) it will currently take approximately six weeks from the date above for a licensing decision to be made.

You will receive a confirmation letter together with your returned documents within the next two weeks. Please do not chase your documents unless this time frame is exceeded.
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Um, i think i have something to say at this point...um, Yahoo? no no , um YAHOOOOOOOOOOO....ok, so this is the first stage done, fine fine . It's not over yet, i now have to wait the full six weeks. But at least the first hurdle is done, thank the sweet lord above perched on his golden throne surrounded by angels and flowers the first hurdle is done!! I'm clean as Daz so there will be no problems with the criminal check. The remaining stages are...Qualification Check Passed, CRB Disclosure Requested, CRB Disclosure Received, Criminality Check Completed, License Granted, or License Refused

So now it's just literally sitting back, plonking my feet up and waiting. Or, should it say...it's just literally working in a soul destroying pig awful job, crying alone in the toilets because of the sheer amount of dignity stripped from me every night...and waiting. I've actually applied for something else in the meantime in the security industry i am hoping i will get until my license arrives, and I'm excited about that too. But getting my doorman license is the real baby.

I saw a doorman parading around without a license in his arm band last night at my local "dancing venue" Short fella, but stocky. I was going to ask him where his license was, but, i had been drinking. And something told me, the convo would start with my question and end with me standing in front of the club protesting to the Doormen. I was genuinely curious, because it's actually illegal. But "whatever" as the kids would say...whatever man, he can deal with any issues that particular chestnut might bring. Maybe he forgot it....? I LOVE YOU brother, and i know you forgot that shit...

I still watch the clubs now with a much more attentive eye then i ever did before. This is when i'm supposed to be out having fun remember. It's strange, and when you watch you see loads of potential kick offs, small arguments bubbling, and people to really watch for but still no matter what. I need to get in there, get my hands in there and take a few smacks, abuse to really know how i will feel about this. To be perfectly bloody honest, i can't wait.

Due to my work commitments, my martial arts training has gone down to once a week, which i wanted to increase the final weeks before I'm actually on the doors. Not that a quick burst of slightly more training than before will make me invincible, but at least I'll feel "oiled" for when something occurs right? Back soon...need that confrimation letter now, and then? the sweet plastic.

Entry Number Three: Documents boy, Documents.

Okey dokey, so's i get's the returned application and Documents, rip open the envelope and since Oct 1st they require all supporting Documents other than the main ones (Passport etc, Drivers license) to have both the name and or address on both. Ok, this is fine, but, i sent mine before thatd ate, and knew nothing of this, so...there was no way i would have known this change, so they sent all my stuff back. Bitches.

But i smiled, bit my lip, triple checked my application form, holding an enormous comedic magnifying glass, and a comb which had teeth of the finest variety. I've now sent everything off for the second time. The women behind the counter of the post office, looked back at me bored as she stuck the recorded delivery sticker on the envelope, and slung it on the pile. She was holding my very future in my hands. The way she threw it on the pile with the rest of the recorded deliv's...heartless COW.

So the whole waiting shit starts again. This isn't even funny, in fact I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE A DOORMAN NOW...sigh, thats not true. Report back when they tell me the next fuck up i made on my application. Seeya.

Entry Number Two: Rejected

I had a chat with a bouncer last night in my regular club, i was completely smashed at the time, drunk off my balls, and high as the very gates of heaven themself. I remember the exchange going something like this

"When ahm i GOnna Get MY LICence MaaaAn, i BEEN WAITIN For aaages bruv"
He said..."you're gonna be waiting about four months my friend"

I then continued to look around for my friends i thought i'd lost, drunk, paranoid, at this point i could have been walking on another planet. But that conversation made me want to check up, even at this early stage on the progress of it all, so i did.

Since i've sent it, all i've been thinking about pretty much is that day...when it arrives. The sweet sweet moment of the biggest career switch up of my life. I look at the flourecent Licence card holders on the arms when i'm out, and the awe. I need one...

So to log on to the SIA just now, just to see how far i'm getting, and to read this:

Your application form has been checked, and rejected as it is incomplete. You will receive a confirmation letter indicating the incomplete section / reason for rejection, together with your returned documents within the next five days. Please do not chase your returned application form / documents unless this time frame is exceeded.

Not good my friends, not good at all. At the current time of writing there is a postal strike as well. So it's going to take about six days to even receive it all back, fill in the one part i've done wrong and send it all off again. For a breif second the stupidness of it all did make me think eff it. Seriously, but to be fair i've known from day one this whole process is going to take an age. I just kind of pathetically hoped you know, i might be one of those who actually gets it all sorted within the six weeks.

So yeah, i am currently as the kids would say "screwing" I need to see what i've done wrong, personally i think i've forgot to tick a box or something as i went over that form about five times before i sent it. I even kissed it good luck before i gave everything to the woman behind the counter at the post office. Very frustrating but i'll get there. I truly do get the feeling this is going to take the four five months everyone says...and i also don't think this is the last time i'm going to have everything sent back due to an "error"

I'm a fairly smart dude, and as i filled out the application i meticulously followed the "how to fill out the application" sheet word for word, so i am concerned as to what i've done wrong here, or if there's some other problem beyond a simple forgotten box etc. Ah well, when i find out i will pop back and Blog what the problem actually was. This was a knockback, to be honest, i wasn't expecting it.