I'm sitting watching X Factor in me boxers, a nice healthy Kebab in front of me. Just about to get going on the Booze to get ready for tonights mayhem. It was my leaving do and I'd invited all my old work lot down who live out of town, for some enjoyable alcoholic beverages. So I'm glued to the screen as normal when X-Factor is on...My phone rings...It's Dean...the Top Dog Doorman with the handshake from last night, calling me?!?!? so soon...
"Dee, it's Dean" says the smooth voice "Ah yes Bruv you cool?" i blurt curious "Yeah i need you tonight, get down here" I pause for two seconds, my brain goes through one thousand thoughts calculations scenarios and then my mouth automatically answers "No problem boss" "ASAP Dee" He says cooly "Yes, can you give me forty five mins?" I ask "Right, make sure you're suited and booted all black alright?" "Yeh no problem Dean, I'll be there, thanks man" Phone clicks, He's gone...
I sit still, frozen, mouth open, Kebab meat falling from my gaping jaw in slow motion. It wasn't fear, but it was definitely unprepared-ness-ness that i felt...the feeling lasted for all of two seconds. I shot up rummaged through my draw for my black tie, trousers, coat and i was in the car.
I made good time, and only got there a few minutes after i said to Dean i would. After all it was last minute, he'd understand. "You're late, get over the road, you're needed at Sherry (A Club) Erwin is on the door" Erwin is the big dude with the baseball cap i met the day before.
Now during the drive down, when walking from the car park through the icy cold town centre lit up late, to approaching the bar, my mind was buzzing, just buzzing over with how to throw a good punch, how to drop a good tackle on some motherfucker. It's been a while. Also i was thinking about the basics, how to greet everyone else, was i honestly really ready...of course not. But I'd made an impression on Dean, he had actually called me the next day, and i had to dump everyone coming down to meet me unfortunately.
In all reality it was a no brainer, there was no way i could turn this one down. It was an actual floating Diamond in front of me...and it was priceless...this was it, my first real night as a Doorman.
I walked up to Sherry, a basic size bar, more a stop off point between two of the bigger bars in town. It was pretty much empty. Erwin greeted me with a big smile on his friendly round head and we shook. "This is it dude, here we go" Erwin gave me some on the Job training. Some basic holds, some basic locks, the dress policy, etc etc . "Be confident big man, thats all you need, confidence from there on in, it's in the hands of God" God...great. God has his off days with me so i can't always rely on that old boy. I looked down at my fists. "I'll rely on them badboys first" i thought quietly.
The girls. So so so many girls. The bars/clubs in the town have mostly Lithuanian, Slovakian, Kosovan and Polish barmaids. I don't know why or how, but they all seem to look stupidly pretty. Tonight was no exception. A tall girl, face depressingly stunning, long neat blonde hair, and a backside from actual actual heaven. She floated past surrounded by a warm shimmeting glow of perfection. Gave a big hug to Erwin and a smile to me.
I saw the girls from work I'd invited down from out of town, i hadn't really had a chance to tell anyone i can't make my own leaving do, one of them walked past, and double taked..."Dee!" she said, she looked very very pretty, all blonded up, black figure hugging shorts. Big baby eyes. I had been trying to get with her on and off at my old job for a while but she has a lot of men on her case and fuck that shit. Not for me, we are good friends though. She's very young (compared to me)
After it was established i wouldn't actually be turning up to my own leaving do the girls made their own arrangements in town. I later let them in although one of them looked underage and had no I.D. Her blatantly underage face looking up at me, black make up rich on her pleading eyes. I motioned them in. Erwin saw i knew them and didn't say a word, just smiled knowingly. First night abusing the system already.
Lots of pretty girls bouncing around town and passing through our little bar. One girl in particular, she was Lutonian and extremely pretty, short thing, looked like Christina Aguelera flirted with me all night. In front of her boyfriend like. Most uncomfortable i must say.
She kept popping outside giggling like a wind up toy, standing next to me for hugs, speakin' "rasta" to try and impress me, generally being a great blonde, plucked from the Default Blonde book. She was brilliant, if she wasn't with her boyfriend i would have stepped up the flirt and met with the young lady at another time for tea and cakes, but that didn't feel professional on my first night on the doors but she was so cute, like a perfect little package. She was 22 as well nice age, black jeans...tight. Hmmmm, perhaps i SHOULD have taken her information for future research. Balls.
After about thirty minutes i was settled in. The freezing cold biting at us but the sight of virtually naked ladies strutting through town in packs was enough to keep the smiles on our faces. The punters coming in were no trouble at all. A few young faces who needed I.D. couple of trainer checks, one search, no problems whatsoever. A Drunk guy in a wheelchair was the only fella to give us a bit of mouth near the end of the night as he left. "S'fuckin shit in thEre anD DooRStaff arE A WasTE Of tiMe" He slurred. We both loked at him in silece..."Have a good night sir" i said back smiling, he grumbled to himself as he wheeled off. "That was an easy night for you Dee, which some Doormen like, some dont. But now? we go over to Extra, Deans domain"
Erwin was cool the whole night, kept me calm, very friendly, and I'm lucky he was on the doors with me for my very first job. Some of his pretty Slovakian friends invited me over for breakfast the next day, one short one with Brown hair caught my eye, but apparently most of these girls are Deans...so i think I'll sit back and wait, no rush, i can control my Dick. I don't fancy getting actually Karate Kicked by my own boss on the first day.
The standard introduction of meeting the Doormen took place. Within minutes Dean took me aside from Erwin and introduced me to a large white bro, i forgot his name completely, looked in his forties, a thin goatee and large wall of a forehead. He basically told me where to stand and what area to patrol for the next three to four hours and that was it. Off i was...real indoor bouncing, no one by my side, the bar packed. People bumping, up close, eyeing me, smiling at me, i was the security in the club for that little patch i was plonked in.
Now 'Extra' was heaving, i mean packed to the brim, I'm bad with head counts but i wouldn't have been shocked if the number was over five hundred tonight. It can hold a thousand people when the other rooms are opened. There were about five of us on the floors.
And so it began. My first interaction... one guy in a grey shirt spiky hair and deep bags under his eyes, youngish dopey face was piling through the crowd. Bumping them aside like bowling pins. Leaving a trail of confused and offended faces in his way, "I'm not 'avin that" i thought to myself in my best Micheal Cain. i gently approached him, and asked him to go easy with the bumping and have a good night. He smiled, genuinely drunk out of his tree but not enough to eject...in my baby like judgement anyway. I let him go on his way, he sobered up near the end of the night fine. My first potential problem. I loved, the responsibility.
A row where a woman pushed a short Asian man, i couldn't hear what was going on but i was in there like a bee...no, a large Wasp...running. Another Doorman was there by the time i got there, the situation was handled.
My eyes flicked through the crowd all night, i was there, this was it. From the Office to the Doors...or dance floor in this case but you get the picture I'm going with here. I was getting my "Arnie On" looking at faces as advised by Erwin and Eddie, reading situations and besides some really entertaining dancing by a mixed race guy who was giving it some. A large portion of the night was trouble free, it was playing my kind of Music as well, which was always good. I was silent though, didn't even bop my head.
I saw some Doormen really going for it dancing in a bar Eddie took me around yesterday. On the stairs in their bright green jackets both dancing with the crowd. Already i know that's not how I'm going to work. Personal choice. I'm very friendly, i lost count of the amount of times i got offered a hand to shake, even a drink by some guy....hmmmmmm....
Anyways I love having a little chat with the people. But I'm not lifting both hands up dancing like a physical prick while I'm working, it will get my head out of the zone, it doesn't look friggin right, busting a groove on the dance floor as a doorman? i feel it's un professional but most of all, it makes you look too easy. To happy and too "off the job in hand" someone could take advantage of that.
Nah, just a very subtle head nod for me if that, besides that I'm planted on the spot occasionally smiling, or nodding in acknowledgement if i get eye contact with a harmless raver but besides that, I'm there for a reason...and Dean was zipping about all night watching me too.
I was loving it, in my element, no fear whatsoever. I'm human, i could have gone into this shaking like Scooby Doo. I'm not a fighter, just a big guy who can get down in the dirt if i need to. But i could have gone either way with nerves i guess. But i was loving this, good night...
Until...
Three Black guys in the corner who initially were just very drunk getting a bit over excited but generally having a good time kicked off. I spotted them earlier, and had one eye on them for most of the night, they were doing nothing but having fun until i heard shouting. ALARM BELLS...my brain ticks into gear, Adrenalin pumps through my body i flick my head around and one of the Doormen, once again i forget his name, Tall lanky Asian was trying to reason with one of the bigger guys, the oldest of the three, in his forties, maybe fifties. All i saw was him trying to lead him out but the guy not leaving.
I asked my collegue if he was cool? "You good brother?" Sean Kingston singing in the background masked his response, but it looked like a yes. I didn't want to intrude, i walked away as to not seem like i didn't have faith in him to do his job, a kind of respect but i got it wrong...whoops "Oi!! Oi!!!" he pleaded, obviously the situation which didn't look too bad needed a second hand, to be fair the old man wasn't budging. My man wanted him out? Then as far as i was concerned, he was gone.
I placed my hand on his lower back and applied pressure to indicate movement, his movement, out of the bar. I asked him to leave...his smaller partner in crime looked at me in disappointment. An almost "come on black man what are you doing to your own people" kind of look. Sorry, fuck actual that. What I'm doing is getting payed to Eject your Dad, Uncle or older best friend brother was my "non verbal" response. He wouldn't leave, boom, i put my weight behind the fella and walked him with the Lanky doorman helping me. All the time this old mans animated face screaming at me "Don't push me, I'm leaving I'm leaving" He looked like Danny Glover......Danny Glover? lethal weapon??? He was 6ft something and built, just had an ageing face. This wasn't some shuddering feeble old boy.
Once we got near to the front door, i stepped back into my zone. I could have right then got a head butt, a punch from his buddies or anything. I only thought about this after the event. I never found out what the old man did. It wasn't my job to ask.
Some entertaining dancing by very drunk White people, to which i felt myself smiling at, and i think even busting a small giggle to and that was pretty much it. The perks are definately the views. Being sober in that environment, you do appreciate the particularly finer looking ladies. Once I'm settled in, I'm gonna switch my flirt game up. I got more than a few friendly glances from the ladies in there...but yeh that was it........*long pause*..............UNTIL
I look down on the dance floor and Dean was arguing with a short but fat and stocky Black dude. I piled through the Dancefloor, just to make sure my presence was known, Dean knew i was there. But Dean can handle himself. I placed a hand on the Black guys fleshy back and he lashed out at me without looking who i was or what i was doing, i ducked the open hand slap and pushed.
A what looked like FURIOUS dean dragged the guy out by the actual fat around his neck it looked like and that was that...i walked off, to my little spot in the middle, and that was it. I now know i have no fear of getting in there, in the meat of the sandwich. I'd be a pretty shit doorman if i did have the fear though, being honest. But i had to know.
I met up with the girls i initially invited out later and that was pretty much the end of my night. Dean signalled me over "Go home now Dan" i signed out, shook his hand and he said "I will give you a call tommorow Dee" smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I think i did good for my first night. I got the seal of approval.
It's also worth noting the Lanky Asian dude i helped out verbally thanked me for backing him up and bought me a J20 later on in the night. So the first small respect level was there. I in turn of course now expect him to have my back, which as I'm learning fast, will be as standard. I am the new boy remember.
I didn't get any or ask about money. I'm not desperate for it right now, i will give it a week, and then politely ask. Right now i feel I'm proving myself. And I'm fine with that.
How did i feel, my first night of Doorwork? I loved it. So I've got in the thick with a few confrontations, could have got hit. Now all i need to do is get hit.
I haven't been hit in a long long time and that was only once, and i don't fight. I keep myself to myself so, the question remains, do i have a beautiful pretty glass jaw, or an ugly fucking brick and steel monstrosity of alower face... time will tell...
Dean wants me on the doors tommorow night...maybe I'll find out then? As i type this my phone is in front of me, and my suits and boots ready...
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